Trump to Concede Says “Tiny Desk Is For Losers”

Donald Trump plans to spend the remaining days of his presidency sitting behind, “the tiny loser desk.” In an exclusive Leuterers interview the outgoing president said, “This is the tiny little loser desk. James Madison sat at this desk. He was small, very short, tiny little man sitting at the tiny loser desk.”

When asked if this meant he was conceding the election to Joe Biden, Trump said, “I’m big, very large, very large, huge hands, and my knees don’t fit under this tiny desk. The election was stolen from me. Huge fraud, giant fraud everywhere, you know that. That’s what they tell me. Millions of ballots everywhere. Coming in rowboats, smuggled in by birds. I’ll sit at this desk, the tiny loser desk, until it’s time to leave.”

Trump refused to say what his future plans were. He did say, “But I’ll be back, be back bigly and hugely. Then I’ll sit back at a big, huge desk.”