CEO of DeathStar Holdings, Inc. Speaks Out on GME and AMC – “We Will Crush Them”

In an exclusive Leuterers interview J.P. Palpatine III, the CEO of Wall Street’s most notorious hedge fund, DeathStar Holdings, Inc. said, “Listen here, boy reporter, it is very simple. The so called “apes” buying and holding GME and AMC will never withstand our pressure and we will crush them and their foolish little companies by shorting them straight into the ground.”

When asked why he thought destroying companies which together employ over 51,000 people was a sound business strategy Palpatine III replied, “Listen here you half-wit reporter, DeathStar Holdings doesn’t care about people or mini-monkeys or whatever they call themselves. DeathStar Holdings is in the business of making more smokestacks. Huge, thousand foot tall smokestacks in every city billowing huge choking clouds of black smoke. You and your mini-monkey people are minions. Minions who exist solely to shovel the coal into the fires which create the choking clouds of black smoke billowing from our huge, thousand foot tall smokestacks.”

Asked whether he was concerned about Reddit groups such as Wall Street Bets organizing to buy and hold AMC and GME stocks imperiling DeathStar short positions, Palpatine III replied, “They are weak and will never hold. They think it is a day-trade game. Yes, if they held for a month we might lose a few smokestacks but they will never hold and we will crush more and more companies employing more and more people and we will build more and more thousand foot tall smokestacks to billow out more and more choking black smoke to cover the entire planet until there is nothing but choking black smoke!”

The interview ended with Palpatine III himself choking out a very sinister and evil sounding laugh while saying, “Listen here Weinhard, you miniscule brained mini-monkey reporter, refer any more of your foolish questions to our PR and lobbying firm headed by Jared Kushner. Now get out of here!”