Musk Calls On Tesla Employees To Go Hardcore – Neuralink Brain Implants To Be Mandatory

Leuterers Business Desk: Palo Alto, CA

In a company-wide email sent to Tesla employees late this evening, CEO Elon Musk called upon Tesla employees to accept Neuralink brain implants so that they may work “hardcore.”

Leuterers News Service obtained a copy of the email which read:

“Attention Tesla Employees. It’s time to go hardcore. To do this you will accept Neuralink brain implants. These are fabulous and will help you work twice as hard at half the pay while smiling. No kidding, they really work. Just ask Matt Taibbi over here at Twitter. And Btw, don’t be too bothered by stock market craziness. As we demonstrate continued excellent performance in upgrading the software in your brain implant all upsetting things will bother you less and less. And don’t worry about Twitter. I only need another $29 Billion to get her cooking with gas! And then we’ll really show Fauci, the woke media, and the corrupt state!”

 “Long-term, with your 100% hardcore-ness and the help of Neuralink to perfectly balance your lives, I believe very much that Tesla will be the most valuable company on Earth, Mars, and in fact the entire solar system!”

Musk concluded his email with details on the cost of the implant and the financing options available exclusively through Doge Funding, LLC.