Sixteenth Century Seer Nostradamus said the year 2020 would indeed be rocky. Scrolls which were recently unearthed predicted, “A great scourge will infect Earth in the year of 2020”. Translators struggled deciphering other prophecies but did glean out of the faded scroll, “An old man, a prophet, will appear in a giant mask that covers half of his face. Other prophets will mock him, but he shall emerge the victor. He shall conquer a land called ‘Murica.”
Nosty, as his friends and fellow prognosticators in France lovingly called him, had hits and misses on his remaining predictions for the year 2020. Among these are:
Betty Ford will enter Betty Ford
Ted Cruz will win Masked Dancer
The Chevy Vega will be Road and Track car of the year.
Mortgage rates will remain at record lows.
The Dow will rebound from its spring lows.
The New York Jets will go undefeated, spoiling an annual tradition of celebration for the surviving members of the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins.