Whole Foods majority shareholder Jeff Bezos has admitted defeat in the recent vote for the Finkelstein Award which was won this term by Trader Joe’s.
The Finkelstein Award is the grocery industry’s most prestigious award for Grocery Store Eclecticism. The Finkelstein Foundation Board members vote once every four years to award the Finkelstein Trophy. On January 20th following balloting the first Tuesday in November the award is officially given to the winner by the previous term’s holder in a time honored Peaceful Transfer of Trophy.
Bezos has continued to assert election fraud conspiracy theories of which none have proven out in numerous lawsuits filed to date. Bezos has not yet committed to the Peaceful Transfer of Trophy saying to a Leuterers reporter recently, “We’ll see what happens but I will commit now to a peaceful continuation of Whole Foods’ rightful possession of the Finkelstein.”
Finkelstein Foundation Spokesperson and heir to the Finkelstein fortune, Sheila Finkelstein announced the Trader Joe’s election win on November 12th. She said Trader Joe’s Holiday offerings this year had put them over the top with the voters. Finkelstein specifically noted the Advent Calendar for Pet Snakes as a key decider for the voters. Finkelstein said to a Leuterers reporter, “The Pet Snake Advent Calendar features non-GMO organic free-range mice coated in Free Trade chocolates from Madagascar, Uganda and Zimbabwe. It’s preservative free as well because the mice are still alive. The mice are humanely induced into comas before being dipped in the chocolate and sealed under the little calendar cardboard flaps. Now pet snakes the nation over may join with dogs and cats in celebrating the Holidays. The Finkelstein Foundation applauds Traders Joe’s commitment to diversity and inclusiveness.”
Finkelstein said to a Leuterers reporter today, “It is hoped Bezos and Whole Foods will concede soon and allow a divided nation to unite under the Trader Joe’s banner. The continued angry rhetoric along with untruthful and baseless claims put forth by Mr. Bezos is not good at all for the Finkelstein Foundation and we all know that what’s good for the Finkelsteins is good for America.”