Leuterers National Desk, Washington D.C
President Donald Trump recently completed a doodle session on Secretary of State Marco Rubio, witnesses said, using a Sharpie to draw an X on Rubio’s head and adding a mustache and goatee.
A White House spokesperson described the marker used as “fresh and new,” adding that the doodling “will take weeks to wear off, but it’s a great look on Marco.”
Health Secretary Bobby Kennedy recounted the scene to a pool of reporters: “Trump grabbed the Sharpie and just went to town on Marco. When he was done, Marco thanked the president for doodling on him.”
When asked about the incident later, Trump said, “Oh, that Marco, he’s a good sport. I doodled on his head and face with a Sharpie. A beautiful Sharpie. You know, the president of Sharpie called me, and he said, Sir, Sir, you have done so much for my company. He thanked me. Thanked me a lot. I should have bought stock in Sharpie. But you know, the fake news will say he bought stock. I should have. Marco loved the drawings I made on his head. I am going to buy him a Sombrero, a big one, huge like the guys at the Mexican restaurant when they come out with the guitars and sing happy birthday.”
A White House spokesperson said all government protocols were followed and that it is not believed the scent and odor of Sharpie ink will have any lasting effects on Rubio’s skin, body, or brain.
Rubio released the following statement: “It is an honor to have President Trump, the greatest president ever, write all over my face with a Sharpie. He said he’s going to dress me up in a new outfit every week, and I look forward to dressing up.”
A White House spokesperson said that Trump plans to doodle on the faces of more cabinet members in the coming weeks. The president promised it would be “tremendous,” mentioning Bobby Kennedy with a black eye and some blacked-out teeth.