NFL Hopes To Boost Ratings – Adding German Javelin Throwers To The Game

Leuterers Sports Desk: Chicago, IL

The National Football League has announced the addition of German Javelin Throwers to its 2023 season in a bid to increase viewership and revenues. NFL Spokesperson Marjaelee Habascapas-Feinberg stated in a press conference earlier today the following:

“We are finding new revenue streams in the European marketplace and as you know have already held and broadcast NFL games from Germany. We are happy to announce a furthering of that partnership with the signing on of the German Javelin Team.

“Now, in addition to the lions already added to the game making their debut in the up and coming 2023 season, the German Javelin Throwers will add even more excitement. The way this will work is as follows. Using a proprietary algorithm based on player and team analytics the German Javelin Throwers will without warning be directed to enter either endzone to throw their javelins down the field.

“The players will really need to be on their guard to avoid impalement as the German Javelin Throwers will also be directed to throw their javelins down the field when any player directs a referee in how to make a call and/or engages in a jive dance after a play.”

Habascapas-Feinberg concluded the press conference stating, “2023, with lions and German Javelin Throwers added to the game we are certain this will be the most profitable year yet for the NFL.”