For years rumors of terrible things occurring behind the scenes have cast a pall on one of children’s most treasured holidays, Easter. Tragically, the rumors have proven to be true. Photos leaked to the press earlier today show clearly that chocolate Easter bunnies are in fact being abused on factory floors.
Acme Chocolate Easter Bunnies, Inc. did not return our repeated calls to comment on this story. However, in a June, 2021 interview company CEO, Adolpho Von Hutler did state in response to numerous allegations of wrongdoing, “It’s a witchhunt. They’re out to get us. It’s all lies. The truth is on our Facebook page where thousands of photos of well treated chocolate bunnies have been posted over the years.”
In a related story, Mr. Von Hutler, who is currently running for Congress in Pennsylvania was today endorsed by former president Donald Trump.