Leuterers National Desk, Washington D.C:
Special Prosecutor Jack Smith today released the details of the 37 count indictment of former President Donald J. Trump. Following Smith’s boilerplate announcement listing the various counts, he spoke candidly with gathered reporters saying, “While my team and I have concerns over the defendant’s use of all caps in his Truth Social message, ‘I am an innocent man’, – I mean gosh, ya know, what if we got it wrong – our main concern is of the defendant’s intention to mount the dreaded ‘Greatest Witch-Hunt and Hoax Of All Time Super Defense,’ which any student of law knows has a one hundred percent success rate since it was first used successfully in the God v. Cain case.”
When asked how the Department of Justice’s prosecution might counter that, Smith stated, “First of all, I’ve instructed my team, and reminded myself to do our very best in not snickering, chortling, guffawing, and by no means can any of us roll on the floor laughing our asses off. At least not in open court.”
Smith continued with, “Secondly, these are serious charges and we do not believe the defendant should be referred to as a fat, bloated coward. Even a ridiculous spray tanned loud mouthed spoiled and petulant child-man bloviating narcissist moron who is a fat, bloated coward should be considered innocent until proven guilty.”
Smith took no further questions.
This is a developing story and Leuterers News Service will continue to post breaking, up to the very moment information as it transpires.