McConnell Promises To Talk Faster

Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell today announced he will unveil a new sound . 

In an exclusive Leuterers interview McConnell said, “Starting tomorrow I promise to talk faster. No more of this slow Kentucky drawl stuff. I’m tired of looking up from my notes and seeing the entire gallery asleep every time I’m at the podium.”

McConnell has been working with world renowned speech therapist Kandi Bahr.  Ms. Bahr, a former pole dancing runner-up for the Fayette County crown released the following statement, “I’m working with Mitch. He’s responding well to the therapy. He’s going to sound like a California livestock auctioneer when I get done with him.” 

First in a series. Next up, McConnell Gets A New Neck