Alfred Zimmerman, an advertising executive in Redmond, Washington began a social media fast a week ago and is currently experiencing happiness along with a sense of serenity. Zimmerman told a Leuterers reporter, “I began the fast last week under the close supervision of my doctor and her team of other medical specialists in the fields of neurology, psychiatry, cardiology, and gastroenterology . Within two days I began experiencing elevated emotions though they weren’t my normal frustration, angst, and anger so I was very confused and worried.”
Zimmerman explained, “The doctors performed a full battery of tests and concluded I was experiencing happiness and serenity along with deep and comforting thoughts, lowered blood pressure and healthy digestion. I have to tell you, I feel great though I am experiencing the negative side effects my doctors warned me of. These include guilt for feeling happy and a sense of alienation from others who don’t understand why I’m no longer posting my daily vitriolic rants they counted upon to help stoke the fires of their daily vitriolic rants.”
When asked for how long he would continue his social media fast Zimmerman said, “ I can’t see doing this for more than ten days. Though I feel great now and am sure that would continue if I stayed off Facebook and Twitter, it’s the long term side effects I’m concerned about. Who wants to be the only fool running around who is genuinely happy, serene and content? Not me, that’s for sure. And it would be bad for business. Happy, serene and content people don’t spend money trying to attain that which money can’t buy.”