Leuterers National Desk, Washington, D.C.
The Biden Justice Department has charged New Jersey senator Bob Menendez with three counts of bribery. A June 2022 search of the Menendez home turned up $500,000 in cash, $100,000 in gold bars, a Mercedes automobile, and 10,000 of those little ball on a string paddle toys. Menendez allegedly took bribes from an Egyptian businessman in exchange for influencing the Agriculture Department to help ensure a monopoly on imported Halal meat products.
United States Attorney General Merrick Garland said, “We made a mistake. When we saw he had all that cash, the gold bars, and the paddle toys we assumed he was a Republican. And as the leader of the newly politically weaponized Justice Department, if I knew he was a Democrat I would have let him slide.”
President Joe Biden thought something could be worked out and reportedly said to Garland, “There is a lot of litter on the New Jersey Turnpike. Maybe Bob can put on one of those reflective vests and start stabbing that trash with a ski pole.”
Meanwhile, Menendez stated, “If the Justice Department is intent on charging me with these crimes I have only one choice, become a Republican.”