Trump lead stooge Rudy Giuliani will soon be retreating to his hideout located underneath a giant rock. The rock is located in a remote area of New Jersey next to an abandoned landfill where Giuliani was raised by the large wild rats native to the region.
In a press conference located in the parking lot of a Jiffy Lube where he had previously sought head-leaking repair, Giuliani said, “My fifteen minutes of fame ended last Wednesday when I made the combat comment. Oops…Oh well, I’ve got great wi-fi under my rock so I can keep up to date with all the important things being discussed on Parler. And I can patch into OANN where I will be broadcasting occasional live updates.”