Giuliani to Crawl Back Under Rock From Which he Emerged

Giuliani To Retire Under Rock
Giuliani at press conference in Jiffy Lube parking lot

Trump lead stooge Rudy Giuliani will soon be retreating to his hideout located underneath a giant rock. The rock is located in a remote area of New Jersey next to an abandoned landfill where Giuliani was raised by the large wild rats native to the region.

In a press conference located in the parking lot of a Jiffy Lube where he had previously sought head-leaking repair,  Giuliani said, “My fifteen minutes of fame ended last Wednesday when I made the combat comment. Oops…Oh well, I’ve got great wi-fi under my rock so I can keep up to date with all the important things being discussed on Parler. And I can patch into OANN where I will be broadcasting occasional  live updates.”