President Joe Biden recently took responsibility for the rising price of oil on world markets. Biden explained, “It’s the thing, up there, you know man, the thing.”
The “Thing” Biden referred to was the World Magical Controller App he had installed on his phone on his first day in office. Through this app United States presidents are able to control world markets, weather, geopolitical affairs, and all other events, both foreign and domestic.
Biden went on to say, “The oil thing went up because I forgot my password.” Leuterers also learned Biden forgot his security questions as well. When the app’s security setting prompted him, he typed in his first car as a Model A. Turns out it was a Model T. When asked who the president was when he was born he answered, “Roosevelt, Teddy Roosevelt.” Then he changed his answer to “Warren G Harding.” Following that the app blocked him and the price of oil and gas went through the roof.
Fortunately a White House intern grabbed the phone from Biden and managed to reset his password. The nation should feel safe and secure knowing his new password is Joe12344321