Oregon Governor Brown Declares State of Emergency in Duck Nation
Following this evening’s soul crushing defeat of the 9-1 Oregon Ducks at the hands of the 7-3 Utah Utes, Oregon Governor Kate Brown declared…
Category: Sports
Sports-world news
Detroit Lions Sold-Plan To Relocate To Sultan, Washington
The Detroit Lions (0-8) have been sold to a nail salon owner in the small Pacific Northwest town of Sultan, Washington. The team…
Trump Invites Himself To World Series – Claims Mexico Is Paying For His Hot Dogs
Major League Baseball refuted former president Donald Trump’s claim he was invited to a recent World Series game in Atlanta. The commissioner released…
Governor Brown Orders Duck Fans To Stay Inside
Governor Kate Brown ordered Oregon Duck fans to shelter in place tonight saying, “Please don’t show your faces in public. You lost to…
Duck Fans Undergo Radical Electro-Shock Therapy to Erase Memory of Loss to Beavers
Twenty six year old Shane Johnson, an Oregon Football fan, sat recently for an interview with Leuterers Sports Editor Tiger Jones. Johnson is…
Governor Urges Duck Fans, “Please Stay Inside”
Governor Kate Brown ramped up her warnings toward University of Oregon Duck Fans. In a statement released early this morning she said, “Please,…
Governor Lifts Restrictions On Beaver Fans
Oregon Governor Kate Brown gave jubilant Beaver fans the green light to party tonight. She released the following statement “Fu*# it, if Beaver…
New York Jets Disbanded
After a dismal 0-7 start the Jets ownership, players, and fans have decided to fold the team. The team released the following statement…