Science, fatigued after a nearly two-year battle with the forces of stupidity, has reached the end of its rope. In a press conference earlier today Science released the following statement. “Were done. We’re burned out, we’re finished. We’ve consistently presented the best information we can come up with about the Covid-19 virus and its variants. Our findings have regularly been discounted and discredited by political leaders and social media influencers who are junior college dropouts posting out of their parents’ basements. We’re not sure which group is worse. Or if the two are in fact the same.”
The statement by Science went on to say, “We contacted Reason, to see if they could help. And this was their response. ‘Dear Science, thank you for the inquiry. Unfortunately Reason is understaffed at the moment and will be unable to assist you with your dilemma. It’s reasonable to assume Reason doesn’t have any reason to think humanity can work through any more of its problems. They’ve had a heck of a run, though, when you think about it. As a last ditch effort, have you considered contacting Logic? Maybe they can help’.”
Science and Leuterers News Service calls to Logic were not returned. Leuterers then learned Logic had filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy months ago and left town with no forwarding address.