An aide close to President Trump has revealed the election losing outgoing president is ready to offer a concession deal. The aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told a Leuterers reporter, “The president is ready to make a deal. He’ll step down and out of office if nobody can refer to him as a loser. And he has a team in talks right now with the heads of Merriam Webster, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and the folks at Oxford University Press.”
When asked exactly what the president hoped to accomplish in these talks the aide said, “It’s obvious. He wants all three dictionary publishers to drop the word ‘loser’ from their publications, print new dictionaries and immediately issue corrections stating any and all dictionaries with the term ‘loser’ in them are ‘hereby declared invalid.’
The aide continued, “Once this is done to the president’s satisfaction he will voluntarily step down assured that nobody can ever refer to him as a ‘loser’.” When asked how the losing outgoing president would then respond to any question or statement in which the term ‘loser’ was used by someone ignoring the updated dictionaries the aide said, “He’s thought of that and he’ll simply answer saying the person is speaking gibberish, saying a non-word and makes no sense and that they probably work for a failing deep state lamestream media organization and are on a witch-hunt.”