Leuterers Campaign Trail Mobile Desk, Las Vegas, NV
Convicted Felon and Adjudicated Rapist Donald Trump has added new policy positions to his election campaign stump speech.
Speaking recently in Las Vegas in sweltering heat, Trump informed his supporters he didn’t “care about them, but only their votes.” Prefacing his further remarks by reminding rally goers of his MIT connection and how smart it made him, he went on to discuss the perils of electric boats which may “sink under their own weight,” and then “electrocute you,” unless you swim “ten yards away, “ but at which point “sharks may see you as sushi and eat your leg.”
Trump stated he’d “rather be electrocuted than be eaten by a shark.” The rally attendees, clutching their $5 off Circus Circus buffet coupons – which they received for attending the rally – were less than enthusiastic with the ongoing rant and eagerly awaited more on the standard and ever popular GOP policy positions of shooting shoplifters, immigrants, and liberals.