Leuterers Market Desk, New York, NY
Wall Street traders are getting no sleep tonight as leading market analysts on social media site Stocktwits are calling for a “complete market crash,” beginning as early as “soon,” according to renowned poster known as trumpymusk420.
In a post gone viral, trumpymusk420 stated, “It’s coming soon. Look at the futes. Everything is a lie, everything is rigged. Look at, like, the jobs report, man.”
Stocktwits Bears, long considered to be the first and last word on all major market movements, were in strong agreement into the late hours of Wednesday night. Said yet another expert, known as 420muskytrump, “trumpymusk420 is totally right. It’s rigged. Yellen, JPow, Biden. The Golden State Warriors. They’re all in on it.”
A third highly respected expert in the Bear community, bearballsrock69, chimed in as well, “It’s going down, man. Bulls will be so rekt. Rekt liberal losers.”
When asked by other users how much of a drop the experts were forecasting, another Bear leader, 420libsux69, replied, “A lot. Like maybe to zero or even below. That’s if they don’t rig it again, which they will. Totally manipulated. Totally rigged. Never before has it been this rigged. Trump will fix this market and tank the commie liberal bulls.”
This is a developing story as Asian and world futures markets are trading with extreme caution while awaiting further proclamations from the Stocktwits Bears.