In a press conference earlier today Florida Governor Ron DeSantis sought to clarify the State’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill. Said DeSantis, “Now listen folks. I know there’s been a lot of confusion over my ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill. I want to clear that up right now. It is perfectly fine to say ‘fag’, ‘homo’, and ‘fairy’. The bill isn’t about fags, homos, and fairies. It’s about not saying ‘gay’.
In response to reporters’ questions asking for further clarification DeSantis answered, “Look at it this way. A couple months back I was on a regular date night with my wife. We had dinner at Applebees and then it was over to Michael Vick’s for some friendly wagering at the dog fights. When we left she said to me, ‘Ronnie honey, I had a gay old time tonight’. And I realized I did too and that it was a fine gay old crowd at the dog fights.”
DeSantis continued, “And then my wife asked me, ‘Ronnie honey, why is it the fags, homos, and fairies get to take our gay away’. When hearing her question I thought to myself hmmm, gay is a good ole timey word that the fags, homos, and fairies have taken away from us gay ole good timing Christian folk and that has to stop and stop now. So until people start using the word gay the way it ought be used here in Florida and the way Jesus used it, we just won’t say gay. Now I hope this clears up everything for you all.”
DeSantis concluded the press conference saying, “And about this Disney thing, what do you all think about DeSantis World? Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”