Leuterers National Desk, Washington D.C.
Miami Mayor Frances Suarez today announced his candidacy for president running on the GOP ticket. Mayor Suarez is an AI generated persona who is very popular in Miami according to local leading social media chatbots and their many followers.
The RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel held a press conference and had this to say regarding Suarez,
“Mayor Suarez has a strong voice that can reach many voters. Yes, he’s not a real person but, well, we’ve had some difficulty lately with real people. And I’m not going to mention any names. So partnering with Microsoft and Google and the City of Miami, we’ve developed what may be the perfect candidate. He’s forever facially un-blemished, tough on crime – he was a hard hitting cop in Grand Theft Auto – he’s well spoken utilizing Chat GPT4’s most recent vocal algorithms, and he’s licensable as an avatar in your favorite on-line gaming platform. As you can imagine, that will bring in some needed revenue towards building a campaign war chest.”
When asked if this might put off any of the real person candidates running on the GOP ticket, Mc Daniel said, “We don’t think so. We think they’ll rise to the occasion to polish their messages and their faces so to better compete with Mayor Suarez. There is one, however, and I’m not mentioning any names, who even a complete AI makeover won’t help. I’m not mentioning any names but this guy, he’s a moron. A fat, bloated coward and loud mouthed, whiny moron who acts like a spoiled petulant child. I’m not mentioning any names.”
When McDaniel was asked if she was referring to the twice impeached and twice indicted former president Trump, she asked an aide for what appeared to be a scripted reply and answered while reading from it, “What about Hunter’s laptop? And Hillary’s emails? And Obama? What about Obama? Why don’t you ask me about him?
“We’re here to talk about Mayor Suarez. And you can clearly see in his campaign ad that the people of virtual Miami love him. He plays soccer with kids, jogs through the streets, waves at passers by, never sweats, never loudly hawks up phlegm to spit on the sidewalk. He looks kind of Cuban, but he’s not. He’s American and doesn’t like Castro, the dead one or the brother. He’s ok with the Blacks and he’s ok with the Jews. He’s a great all around guy, a great American and he could very well make a great president.”