Palm Beach, Florida:
Earlier today during an interview on the Real American Voice broadcast network former President Trump appealed to Russian Dictator and War Criminal Vladimir Putin for help to be reinstated to the Presidency of the United States.
Real American Voice is a subsidiary of NAM – News for American Morons – and can be heard on the AM radio dials of most Dodge Hitchhiker Abduction model vans, vintage 1974-1978.
Trump explained his request to Putin with the following, “Putin is great. He’s a savvy genius. He’s almost as great a savvy genius as I am. So yeah, I asked him to pull some strings and get me reinstated to the Presidency. Rudi and his guys along with his women who look like guys, couldn’t do it. Tucker Carlson is trying but he can’t do it. Roger Stone is back on vodka, Cialis, and Russian prostitutes so he’s out of the picture. So I asked Vlad. We go way back, me and Vlad. He’s a great guy. It’s too bad those Ukrainians forced that war with Vlad. Vlad is a nice guy and he just wants peace and good business deals with me, the greatest businessman ever. Me. Trump. The greatest President and businessman ever. Who wouldn’t want to do business with me?”
A caller to the radio show asked Trump if he was , “aware there is absolutely no mechanism in existence which allows for a President to be reinstated after an election loss, much less a reinstatement somehow orchestrated by a murdering dictator of an enemy nation,” Trump replied, “Hang up on that loser. That was a loser question from a failing person. Real Americans know that Trump knows. Trump knows everything. They call me the knower. They do. You know it, you hear them. They call me the knower and I guess I am. I know more than anybody ever. I am the greatest knower ever. So of course they call me the knower. You know they do. They love me. I’m a loveable guy. The greatest loveable guy ever. Kim Jong-on and Vlad and me. We love each other. They love me. They know I am great and want me to be president again. I don’t know, maybe we should let them have their way. C,mon…we’d have me, Trump and everybody loves Trump.”