President Trump today stated regardless of the election outcome he would dynamite Mt. Rushmore to make way for his proposed statue of himself. Trump stated, “No matter what happens in this Liberal rigged witch hunt of an election I’ll still have at least two months to do whatever I want.”
The project is being funded via The Executive Emergency Powers Act of 2001. This provision of the PATRIOT ACT allows for up to one hundred billion dollars be used at the discretion of the Executive Office for any single project deemed by the Chief Executive to be an emergency. The project’s cost is estimated to come in under the limit at only ninety nine billion dollars.
The statue project has been awarded to a joint German and Russian consortium of sculptors. Lead sculptors Heinrich Himmlerson and Boris Badenov stated, “Vee are zerry, zerry happy to ze vorking on ze American project. Ve love American freedom, heh, heh, heh. Heil, er, nyet! Ve mean go, go, go Trump!”