In an effort to raise funds for legal bills, tax debts and balloon payments on debt to foreign dictators outgoing President Trump has listed highly classified government secrets for sale on Ebay.
Saying they were “his secrets” and that he “owned them”, Trump continued in an exclusive Leuterers interview, “It’s amazing how much they’ll pay for launch codes. I listed them at $5 million each this morning and they’ve been bid up to $12 million in just over an hour. I’m offering many other secrets at Buy-it-Now pricing too. Like the White House cafeteria egg salad recipe. $400.00. Great egg salad, big, beautiful egg salad. Great recipe. I ate many egg salad sandwiches when up all night tweeting.”
When asked if he was concerned about the legality of revealing government secrets the former reality show host said, “Don’t ever talk to the president that way. I’m the President of the United States. Who are you, a failing reporter for the failing Leuterers News Service.”