Rodney Bland, a Pennsylvania pigeon enthusiast has come forward admitting his participation in the massive conspiracy which tilted the state’s 2020 Presidential election results in favor of Joe Biden.
In a press conference moments ago from his pigeon coops, Bland said he was motivated to tell his story after he recently saw a segment on the MSNBC show Liberals are Great, Conservatives are Stupid.
Bland stated, “I saw a man on that show saying no one had come forward, out of a group which must number in the thousands, or hundreds of thousands of co-conspirators, so how could there have been a conspiracy to defraud the voters of Pennsylvania?
“He was right. But he was wrong. I know this because I was one of the 692,247 Pennsylvania co-conspirators. The rest of them have stayed silent but I no longer can. And I feel now is the time to come forward and clear my conscience. My name is Rodney Bland and I was in charge of Operation Pigeon Freedom. We used pigeons to smuggle illegal Biden ballots into polling stations. We were almost exposed when the Leuterers News Service uncovered our plot but who’s ever heard of that, them, whoever, whatever they are?”
Bland was previously scheduled to make his announcement live today on the Fox News show Hannity Tonight. Fox attorneys had to turn Bland away at the last minute as Hannity is currently under investigation for the crime of Exploitation of a Moron as a result of his interviews with Alex Jones, Sidney Powell, Rudi Giuliani, and many others.
Bland’s statement concluded saying, “There were hundreds of thousands of us, all working for a common goal. I now regret my involvement in the plot. I should have worked harder to campaign for that Yang cat. He was going to give a me an easy grand a month. And I’m very disappointed with FOX News. I was going to be paid with a $50.00 Red Lobster gift card for going on Hannity. With Biden I’ve gotten nothing but a gas tank I can’t afford to fill.”
Following the press conference a pigeon flew to Bland and delivered him a message. Leuterers obtained a transcript of the message, it read: “You blew it, Bland. Your days are numbered. With Love, The DNC.”