Clown union president Joe “Curly” Elliot announced he is considering a run for the White House in 2024. Speaking live on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Elliot said, “I know I speak for all clowns when I say we’re sick of this ‘clown show’ in our nation’s capital.”
Elliot, president of the International Brotherhood of Clowns, Carnival Ride Operators, and their helpers, Local 154, became quite agitated when questioned by host Willie Geist. Elliot launched into a rant, “Hey Willie, if you want to call it a clown show, then we’ll give you a clown show. Maybe you’d like to see nine of my cabinet members pile out of a 1976 Opal Cadet? How would you like to see the Secretary of State wearing size 36 backward shoes? I’ll appoint my friend Giggles as the head of the Federal Reserve. Giggles is one of those sad clowns. He’s always moping around, depressed all the time. Giggles wouldn’t hesitate to raise that prime rate right through the roof.”
Elliot also threatened to appoint “Happy the Clown” as Secretary of State. “Happy is always Happy because he keeps a flask of scotch inside those baggy pants of his. He’ll give Putin the big electric buzzer handshake. He’ll make that Trudeau kid suck a helium balloon before he addresses the United Nations.”
Elliot then became introspective and solemn, saying, “The time is right in America for a real clown to step up and take charge. The Clown’s time is now, it’s our chance to reach up under our arm pits and make some fart sounds. America, I urge you to vote for the Clown Party in 2024.”